From existing to living!!!

Better man

2010-05-08T13:34:00.000+05:30

This song has been playing in my head for quite some time now... Was curious to know what made me fall in love with it the first time I heard Robbie Williams render it! After all these years... The magic still remains... Better Man - Robbie Williams Send someone to love me I need to rest in arms Keep me safe from harm In pouring rain Give me endless summer Lord I fear the cold Feel I'm getting old Before my time As my soul heals the shame I will grow through this pain Lord I'm doing all I can To be a better man Go easy on my conscience 'Cause it's not my fault I know I've been taught To take the blame Rest assured my angels Will catch my tears Walk me out of here I'm in pain As my soul heals the shame I will grow through this pain Lord I'm doing all I can To be a better man Once you've found that lover You're homeward bound Love is all around Love is all around I know some have fallen On stony ground But Love is all around Send someone to love me I need to rest in arms Keep me safe from harm In pouring rain Give me endless summer Lord I fear the cold Feel I'm getting old Before my time As my soul heals the shame I will grow through this pain Lord I'm doin' all I can To be a better man --Toodles, Me

Hattrick + 1

2010-04-07T02:30:00.000+05:30

Watched Messi make it messy for Arsenal in the second lef of the Champion's League QF :) loved every one of the 4 goals he scored. Loved Nixon's optimism... Till the 85th minute he was sure that Arsenal will equalize (& win with more away goals).... 87th minute he came down to at least go down 3-2 not 3-1... And when Messi drove the last nail into the coffin of Arsenal's CL dreams, he sorely admitted that Messi was messimerizing :) Looking forward to tonight's game. Will Man U manage to keep the English in the CL? Coming in training at 1-2 and with an injured striker things don't look too hunky dory for the red devils.... Will still be cheering them on though! Toodles, Me

2 feet of social responsibility

2010-02-27T01:23:00.000+05:30

Met this charming, gentle giant today, while subjecting my digestive system to another dose of poison in the form of chai... And after several minutes of entertaining us with his stratergies on turning our energies to rabbit breeding and his sales n marketing pitches of the same (including bugs bunny and playboy bunnies :) ), He revealed his self imposed social responsibility goal... His 2 ft of fiefdom... Which turned out to be the top cover of the housing for the hose used in case of a fire. During each break (which he claims are few and far between), he collects all the disposable coffee/chai cups left by some callous employees on his 2ft of metallic real estate and disposes it the right way :) 2ft of social responsibility! What if each of us made ourselves responsible for 2ft.... Instead of depending on 5 to handle 10000ft? --Toodles, Me

A date to remember.

2010-01-16T01:18:00.000+05:30

Palindrome date 01 02 2010 :) --Toodles, Me

2010

2010-01-01T10:22:00.000+05:30

No resolutions this year. No promises that will soon be forgotten. Just the hope that I fill more life into each passin moment. That I don't let ye sun go down on my anger. That I return kindness no matter what hand I am dealt. Have a blessed 2010! --Toodles, Me

What's in a name... in this case.. a story..

2009-11-20T14:54:00.000+05:30

As winter set in this year.. Tricksy had a little of 7. 5 of the pups were large and healthy... one slightly smaller than the others and the last one... extremely small.

Mom was often worried that the bigger ones wouldn't give the little one a chance to survive.. She'd wake me up at odd hours.. call me all through the day just to make sure I talked to Tricksy while the little one fed...

Strike one...

This errant pup would follow his mom outside the cozy haven we supplied them with...

early one morning.. mom woke me up saying she could hear the pup, but he was not around... following his weak whine, I found him searching for his then agitated mom under the dressing table...

Strike two...

A few evenings later... my distraught mom called me. The pup was no where to be seen and neither was he whining... Mom oragnized a search party consisting of herself and my cousins, but the puppy was not found. It was cold, dark and raining...

I reached home at 1am and searched all over … but not a sound was heard... and not a glimpse of the little one... I coaxed Tricksy into counting her pups and on finding one less she ran about in a frenzy trying to sniff him out, but she didn't find him either.

Mom's fear overcame her faith... with so many odds against him, I didn't hold it against Mom for thinking that way.

The next morning I searched again... mom called to check if I found him. I didn't. Need less to say, we didn't fancy his chances…

Almost 20 hrs after he went missing... a call from my Mom announced that my cousin had found the pup in my neighbors' garden.

Home run!

Considering we have a gate that the puppy can't climb over … and a wall that even I can't climb over between our houses, none of us have any clue about how the puppy reached there. But he's home now.

I just held him... there isn't a scratch on his body... he's as gusty, as noisy and yeah.. as hungry as before this ordeal.

He's small enough to fit in my hands when I cup them... but he stayed out hungry and confused all through that rainy night... he's a little pup with the heart of a lion...

I already have a name for him... a friend who followed his story very closely and added his prayers to mine that night suggested this…

“I'm Heart, Braveheart, but you can call me Bravo! “

Millions... And counting...

2009-11-08T13:35:00.000+05:30

Apples, oranges n grapes hanging in mesh sacks at the entrance of a fruit shop. My 4 beautiful cousins hugging me before rushing away to play with Ice cube. Tricksy's 7 pups lying in a row trying to keep themselves warm. Waking up to SMSs that came from real ppl not bots. A slight drizzle, a cloudy sky n the smell of damp earth. My parents chatting away n planning a little celebration as we r putting up the main door of our little house. Nixon's daring tee. A big eyed 3 yr old Muslim girl, dressed in royal blue, poking her head out of an overfilled auto to smile at a child in the auto beside her.... When you decide to count your blessings.... Little things can bring a lot of joy :) --Toodles, Me

Burnt toast!!!

2009-11-02T18:18:00.000+05:30

Received one of those "heart" forwards after a long time... Food for thought... :) When I was a little girl, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage, and extremely burned toast in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his toast, smile at my mom, and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that toast and eat every bite! When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the toast. And I'll never forget what he said. 'Baby, I love burned toast.' Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night, and I asked him if he really liked his toast burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, 'Debbie, your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides-a little burnt toast never hurt anyone! You know, life is full of imperfect things...and imperfect people. I'm not the best housekeeper or cook.' What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's faults - and choosing to celebrate each other's differences - is the one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship. Burnt toast should never be a deal breaker. We could extend this to any relationship in fact - as understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!!" Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket - but into your own. People will always forget what you do, and they will always forget what you say, but they will never, ever forget the way you make them feel.... --Toodles, Me

Diwali night...

2009-10-17T22:40:00.000+05:30

After several unsuccessful attempts at capturing the splendid fireworks display that my neighbours put up for us, I turned off my cam. Sat alone on my terrace and took in the sickly sweet smell of sulphur and the vision of a 1000 hues. Sometimes we get so caught up in capturing the moment (to the point of consulting manuals :) ) that we forget to enjoy it. Wanted to do something different this year. In a way not watching over my cousins while they fire crackers is a novel way of spending Diwali. There r shrieks of laughter. Lights n noise all around, yet somehow I get a discomforting feeling of detachment. N yet I find solace in this lonliness. Have a happy Diwali ppl. Play safe. Show consideration. Wish a few strangers. Take in the moment. Enough of advice... Especially considering Its unpaid for and unread till long after this night has passed.

Diwali night ...

2009-10-17T20:14:00.000+05:30

Signs ...

2009-10-16T04:10:00.000+05:30

Watched the movie again tonight. I liked it the first time. Liked it this time as well. An the timing couldn't be better. I've reached the point where I'm losing my faith. Don't know what will get me back there! I sure wish there is hope for me. Till next time. Toodles - me -- Posted from my iPhone

Some firsts r worth remembering

2009-10-15T03:52:00.001+05:30

... Like the first blog from my phone. N the memorable part is that it gets published to my Blogger, wordpress and Opera account simultaneously. Wouldn't blog about it if it was just a walk in the park, now, would I? Well all I can add right now is that I use an application called BlogPress. And an Opera blog can be added if u read the "API" link located at the bottom of the my.Opera page :) Pssstt... The long and short of it... More posts. It's time to up the ante :) Toodles, Me

Before we know it....

2009-10-05T02:54:00.000+05:30

took a look at myself in the mirror today...

Didn't see the girl of the past anymore...

The twinkle remained.. and so did the smile ...

but new lines have etched their marks in once flawless young skin.

Time has a way of making it's passing felt...

with lines of songs that evoke memories with forgotten dates...

in innovation, in decay, in heralding the new...

in watching the old rot and fade away...

Soon we'll be a forgotten race...

a generation that once had the power to make a difference...

Did we?

Did I?

Have we left our footsteps in the sands of time...

or did we forget to even walk...

Did we tread through life with fear?

or did we take bold strides in unchartered territories?

Did we dare to conquer... or did we slide through time groping to find answers to questions we feared to speak of aloud?

How did you live your life? How are you living your life?

Before we know it, we would've lived through our one chance...

Did u do anything to make yourself Alive today?

Another date to remember...

2009-09-10T01:55:00.003+05:30

For the 09/09/09 For keeping my cool when all I wanted to do was chop someone's head off... For the memory of sunshine following me and raising the curtain with it's head... For the soft brown eyes and the sweet little puppy look that Rambo gave me ... For a million things that may be forgotten tomorrow ...

Things that bring us joy...

2009-09-04T02:56:00.002+05:30

Sometimes it's the drive in a BMW that we always longed for..

Sometimes it's the smile of a child as she posed for your camera..

Sometimes it's the breathtaking beauty of the view from the tallest building ..

Sometimes it's the unfolding of a specatular valley as you drive through the mountains..

Sometimes it's the crazy buzzing in your head when you've had too much wine..

Sometimes it's lying in bed reliving the memories that filled the little moments of the past days..

Sometimes it's using your photograph as a wallpaper and sighing in satisfaction...

Sometimes it's no reason at all..

Sometimes it's just the refection of your soul..

I asked for a camera...this is what i settled for :)

2009-08-06T17:39:00.002+05:30

Nikon D5000 Digital SLR Camera
18-55mm AF-S G VR Zoom Lens [25454]
Nikon AF-S 55-200mm f/4-5.6G ED DX VR Zoom-Nikkor Lens [2166]
Transcend 16GB HC SecureDigital Class 6 (SDHC) Card
Spare EN-EL9 Battery for Nikon
Precision Design USB 2.0 SecureDigital (SDHC) High-Speed Card Reader
Nikon 5874 Digital SLR System Case - Gadget Bag [5874]
ImageRecall Digital Image Recovery Software
Precision Design Memory Card Storage Wallet
Precision Design 6 Piece Lens Cleaning Kit (Blower/ Brush/ Fluid/ Cloth/ Tissues/ Tips) [4DJC007]
Tiffen 52mm UV Protection Filter
Nikon ML-L3 Wireless Remote Control

& she wrote...

2009-07-30T01:57:00.003+05:30

My cousin read me a pretty poem she penned today.

It was simple, pretty n honest. It got me thinking. Thinking of the days when poetry meant so much.

Days when Shakespear could be quoted not just googled up.

Days when lyrics had far greater value than head banging music.

Days when a book could keep one engrossed all day.

Days when you could let your imagination take flight.

Days when you could paint the world any hue you wished.

Days when the ringing of a cellphone didn't interrupt family time.

Pretty poems bring back sad memories at times... I guess at heart I am pretty old fashinoned!

Seeing is believing....

2009-07-13T14:50:00.000+05:30

I did a photo shoot with a person who turns out to be a an excellent photographer, a philosopher, a singer... we sat on a bench overlooking a lake ... watching sailboats and ducks floating around and we noticed that certain parts of the lake were undisturbed... while the rest was rippled and restless… and then he said... “that which has depth retains calm on the outside...” and to watch that live example made that thought more profound...

We discussed so much more on life and spirituality... on embracing oneself and learning to first accept yourself for who you are ... the good, the bad, the ugly... and how mindless discrimination ceases to exist beyond that.

You will look at life.. and be able to add more color into each moment... you will look at people and be able to appreciate the beauty in them instead of judging them... you will take more pleasure in the innocent smile of a child... your heart will soar with each strain of music… your eyes will sparkle when you get a peek of nature’s beauty… your lips will break into a smile, your heart will break into song and your soul will take wings…

You will give thanks when you see the majesty of God’s creation… You will be reminded of your littleness when you visualize the vastness of the world…

You will play just a small, seemingly insignificant part in a play… but even in your smallness - you are an absolute… you are complete!

You see more because you can see beyond the facade of a false smile, beyond color and age and race, beyond relationships and gender, beyond differences! You see more because you can see yourself clearly!

Manna for gray cells...

2009-07-13T14:45:00.002+05:30

Last week has been a series of learning...

I met up with a friend's friend whom I've known only briefly ... His willingness to share his life, his ideas, his experience amazes me... It made me wonder why I can never be so open. Is it because I'm scared of being laughed at? Is it because I have an idea but have never really researched it and thought it through? Is it because I’m not sure? Manna for gray cells :)

He did reinforce a few thoughts though...

Don’t laugh at a person's dreams... It may be the only hope they have…

Don’t let go of the chance to follow your heart… you might scathe you heart, but you’ll never get over losing that chance…

Don’t steal someone's ideas and call them your own ... To thine own self be true.

Do you have it in you to stand up for what you believe in???

2009-07-13T14:17:00.000+05:30

We go around condemming unjust practices... and yet when it comes to our chance to do something... do we have the guts to do it the right way... instead of bribing someone.. or goign through the backdoor to get it done?

I admire my Dad for his capacity to remain honest... his ability to walk the narrow path when a wider road laden with flowers is merely a turn away...

it's not lack of money... it's surplus of morality and it's heartening, endearing and awe-inspiring at the same time...

Thank you for being such a wonderful role model Dad...

Have you ever wondered how we could change the world by just choosing to do the right thing when it is our turn to make the right choice? Would you?

We go around condemning unjust practices... and yet when it comes to our chance to do something... do we have the guts to do it the right way... instead of bribing someone.. or going through the backdoor to get it done?

I admire my Dad for his capacity to remain honest... his ability to walk the narrow path when a wider road laden with flowers is merely a turn away...

it's not lack of money... it's surplus of morality and it's heartening, endearing and awe-inspiring at the same time...

Thank you for being such a wonderful role model Dad...

Have you ever wondered how we could change the world by just choosing to do the right thing when it is our turn to make the right choice? Would you?

Life's best lessons...

2009-07-04T21:05:00.001+05:30

It's a cloudy, pleasant evening... a cool breeze, a hazy moon and the smell of freshness in the air...

Today has had a lot of firsts... a lot of repeats too .... but more poignant than the actions that fill the day are the thoughts that pour out in abundance.... the memories that play hide and seek in the mist of my mind's wanderings ...

Replaying moments from the yester-years made me realize that the most valuable lessons we have been accompanied by heart break... either our own or that of another.... but there is seldom a situation where a soul is left unscathed by the scalpel of life's events.

When your heart is broken you learn to be a little less naive and a lot more wary of relationships..

When you break a heart you learn what it feels like to be wracked with guilt...

....

Royal Tea...

2009-06-28T20:16:00.004+05:30

We found this place by error... and it's name caught our fancy... 'Finjaan' - Royal Tea!

A place for tea, black tea... Black tea with the most exotic names ever...

From Bi Lo, Dingu Dafan, Melon seed slice, Dragon well, Fur peak, Rose buds, Red robe, Jade rings to Cinnamon, Temi Sikkim and several such there is something for everyone to taste and love....

Served in a glass teapot with matching cups and being allowed to take in the aroma of the leaves before and after the tea is brewed...

For those seeking a new experience or just wanting to spend an evening with someone they love... Finjaan's calling ...

CHAI MENER 9-4-76/2/1, Main Road Toli Chowki Hyderabad 500008 AP, INDIA

+91-40-23561738

Cheers...

Pressing pause...

2009-06-21T21:52:00.002+05:30

Some moments take our breath away ... some make us feel alive... and at such momenemt... our fondest wish is to 'press pause'... to stop time forever... to freeze the frame and just remain there...

Looking into the eyes of the one you love and seeing their love for you shining in them...

Hearing the pure innocence in the laughter of achild...

Lying in the bosom of nature ...

Listening to the heartbeat of the one you love as you rest your head on his chest...

Waking up to the smell of fresh flowers lying on your pillow..

Watching puppies play around in the backyard...

Closing your eyes while kissing...

Whispering 'I love You' against his lips...

How selfish are you...

2009-06-16T12:33:00.002+05:30

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live...

I've always held that one has to be selfish .... not for things that last a few minutes... but when it comes to life changing, forever involving decisions.. like who to marry, where to settle down, what career to choose...

Don't get me wrong.. of course I've been called names for choosing such a stance... but the truth is ... YOU are the only one who has to live with this decision all through your life! All the influencers will move on... they will get engrossed in their own lives ... and when that happens ... how will you survive decisions you took to keep others happy?

To thine ownself be true!

days like today...

2009-04-08T02:25:00.001+05:30

Oh! in such moments can I crush The grass beneath my feet? Ah no; the grass has then a voice, Its heart — I hear it beat. from A Walk by Moonlight by Henry Louis Vivian Derozio April showers... the mangoes begin.. but before that we get a brief respite from the oppressing heat... It's an overwhelming sensation... and I'm giving my senses a treat.... Taking in the smell of wet mud, watching the garden bathed in a silvery glow each time lightning splits the heavens, listening to the rumble of the clouds, feeling the refreshing cold rain on my face... It's moments like this that make life worthwhile...

Narrowing it down...

2009-03-19T17:33:00.002+05:30

How will I know he's the right one... Well if this is how he feels about me... I'll have no doubt!!! To love a woman - Enrique Iglesias & Lionel Richie Enrique: I dont know what it is but she drives me crazy I dont know what she does but she drives me wild If only she could let me be the man I wanna be Well she can leave me helpless as a child Lionel: I dont know how it is but she has the power She can make me laugh when I wanna cry (oh yeah) She tells me that Im in control but I know its just a lie Both: And I dont mind oh Will she love you tomorrow like she loves you today She can keep your heart guessing but shes yours if she stays And thats what it feels like To love a woman To love a woman Enrique: When youre looking in her eyes you can see forever (forever) Youre captured by the beauty of her soul (oh yeah) Lionel: You know youre never gonna find a woman like this again Both: So dont let go oh (dont let go) Will she love you tomorrow like she loves you today She can keep your heart guessing but shes yours if she stays And thats what it feels like To love a woman To love a woman Oh she can make your day Oh she can take it away (take it all way) And oh whether its wrong or right You know it in the end youd do it all again To love a woman Just to love a woman (uh huh) Oh you know (yes I know, yes I know) She loves you tomorrow like she loves you today (well she love you) She can keep your heart guessing but shes yours if she stays (shes yours if she stays) And thats what it feels like (Im gonna say it) And thats what it feels like (what it feels like oh) And thats what it feels like To love a woman To love a woman (mm hmm) Yes to love a woman

It's the starting of a brand new year...

2009-01-02T01:00:00.000+05:30

Another year come and gone...

some joy... some sorrow... some cheer ... some gloom... a whole lot of fulfillment...

with open arms i welcome the new year...

may it be as beautiful, joyous and peaceful as the rapture felt by our souls while we bowed before Christ in adoration.

Mass is a wonderful way of heralding the new year in... it's one tradition I'll keep going...

how about you... have you found your reason to smile?

3 Black one Khakhi

2008-11-03T16:55:00.001+05:30

my darling Daschund - Sunshine, littered on 27th Oct...

3 black ones and one Khakhi...

They keep me awake all night.. but I enjoy watching them grow.. listening to them trying to get their mom's attention ... I wish they grow up in slow motion... so that I can hold on to them for just a little longer...

absolutely dread the day i'll have to give them away :(

It's in the date :)

2008-08-08T03:05:00.004+05:30

Today is my grandma's b'day... It's been several years since she passed away.. but I still miss her. 8th August was as exciting as Christmas for us... All her 10 children with their offspring and their offspring would come together to celebrate today ... There are so many memories around 8th... I'm hoping to add one more to it. I want to enroll for my driving classes today... 8th August ... I hope I succeed .... I don't feel too good about anything else.. I let my hunny down... and now he doesn't even want to talk to me... Just praying that 8th will get us back together ... I miss him...

Feelin terrible...

2008-07-07T13:22:00.002+05:30

I wanted to see history in the making... I so wanted Federer to win the Wimbledon 6th time in a row... and I can't believe I'm so depressed that he didn't .. I don't really understand what has upset me more... Fed losing, Nadal winning, or both! Haven't felt so miserable in a long long long time :(

Nanna's advice...

2008-06-24T20:42:00.002+05:30

Mom brought home a piece of paper today... it was a little note that my nanna (grandma in Anglo-Indian jargon) penned down years ago... It doesn't have a date... but the essence of my nanna is still alive in it!

We develop a fault & nurse it & cultivate it, & never change it. Like a needle caught in the groove of a defective record on a gramophone it plays the same old tune over and over again. You must lift the needle out of the groove, then you will have disharmony no longer, bur harmony. Don't spend more of your life perfecting faults in human relationships. Spend the rest of your life perfecting your great capacities for friendliness, for personal relations are vitally important to successful living.

The Brick - Nice Forward

2008-06-14T20:51:00.000+05:30

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and spun the Jag back to the spot from where the brick had been thrown. He jumped out of the car, grabbed some kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing?!!" Building up a head of steam he went on. "That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?" "Please, mister, please. I'm sorry, I didn't know what else to do!" pleaded the youngster. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop.." Tears were dripping down the boys chin as he pointed around the parked car."It's my brother," he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up." Sobbing, the boy asked the executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me." Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He lifted the young man back into the wheelchair and took out his handkerchief and wiped the scrapes and cuts, checking to see that everything was going to be okay. "Thank you and God bless you," the grateful child said to him. The man then watched the little boy push his brother down the sidewalk toward their home. It was a long walk back to his Jaguar.. a long, slow walk. He never did repair the side door. He kept the dent to remind him not to go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention. God whispers in your soul and speaks to your heart. Sometimes when you don't have time to listen, He has to throw "a brick" at you. It's your choice: Listen to the whisper--or wait for the brick.

Yeah... it was a Happy Birthday...

2008-06-06T18:01:00.003+05:30

Y'day was my birthday... Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me :) I didn't plan on having a party ... what with all the misunderstanding and conflicts... We thought of wrapping it up with Dinner at some place nearby .. but by the 5th call that morning.. things changed... we decided on throwing a party... the menu changed 15 times (thankfully before we were done with shopping) and the guest list didn't stop growing. Ally & I attended evening Mass @ 6:00pm followed by the novena to Infant Jesus... we got home in time to clear the table and get stuff ready ... I was sweating it out before our guests made it home ... but nothing can alter one's appearance like a quick shower and well-fitting sexy pink dress ;) Not that bad a b'day I guess... I guess not having expectations helps in making a party successful :) My b'day wish this year... is for the peace to last!

Welcoming the New Year...

2008-01-01T22:32:00.000+05:30

Each year starts with resolutions... promises that are forgotten after a few months... sometimes days :) .... and a whole lot of "I'm going to turn over a new leaf" ... This time... No such promises... Mass this 31st ... was amazing... it started with Adoration at 11:30 pm .. and it was the most uplifting way of beginning the year... Somehow this year seems different ... It was spent differently for sure :) Loved it when Fenton and Brajesh visited... Loved just staying at home.. lazing around ... getting lunch ready... seeing the house so clean... Loved all the good wishes that kept flowing in all thru the day... but most of all ... I loved the peace that filled me ... when I surrendered this year to the Lord!

another Year....

2008-01-01T22:17:00.001+05:30

2007... gone before I could realize it... So many memories.. so many dreams fulfilled.. so many incomplete.. a little heartache... a lot of joy... a few surprises... a few long desired wins... There are some things i'll be proud of .. just a few I wish I had a chance to redo... but no matter the result.. I'll cherish each moment of the year gone by...

Proof of it!

2007-07-29T12:19:00.000+05:30

Found this lovely article...Impotence of Proofreading and just in case i don't find this piece again :

Owed two a Spell Chequer Eye halve a spelling chequer; It came with my pea sea; It plainly marques four my revue Miss steaks eye kin knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a word End weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong our write - It shows me straight a weigh. As soon as a mist ache is maid It nose bee fore two long, And eye kin put the arrow rite It’s rare lea ever wrong. Eye have run this poem threw it; I am shore your pleased two no Its letter perfect awl the weigh, My spell chequer tolled me sew!

Just for a date :)

2007-07-20T19:11:00.000+05:30

The moment i saw it .. i needed to blog.. someone reminded me of the double match today :) 20072007 (20th July 2007) and I knew i had to write it and make sure i remembered it :)

The Incredibles - Fear No One!

2007-07-15T23:52:00.000+05:30

This time around didn't seem like the resounding success last time was... but hey... this tme over.. my team won ;)
For the uninitiated.. which ... well everyone should be :D I'm talking about the offsite we had.
Last time it was a smaller team... a place that was wayyyy tooo far... and games that we organized... but i guess all that organizing made us feel like it was such a big success.. cause we worked so hard to contribute something to it!
This time over we had professional event managers and boy ... having nothing to worry about .. and just having to play .. was definitely a huge load off our shoulders :D
It started late ... as always i should add... we spent the whole morning calling people .. trying to convince them to come over ... and when we decided that no more convincing could help.. we made it to the resort...
The team's had already been decided.. I was asked to join Team 2 ... and suddenyly I became a superhero ... er.. i mean heroin for I belonged to "The Incredibles", our war cry - Fear no One!!!
Our first mission... climb two hillocks.. once the whole team reached the top.. we'll be given the next clue..
Up we ran .. and the clue turned out to be a cipher.. some of us slowed down solving it.. while the others ran ahead searching for the way...
We scrambled to the finsh line once we solved it... i don't think we made it first.. and slowing down to write it on the paper before we submitted it took us to second or third place i guess...
we had to do better... and in the next mission.. carrying a patient on a stretcher we just made while blindfolded .. we earned almost a dozen "u guys are doin gr8"s from the event managers :D
Lunch was painfully late... and the slight drizzle didn't warm us any when the next game started... we played JULU JULU.. scored just one goal .. while the other team didn't at all anyway ;) ... created chaos with the rubberbands and thread ... and didn't stop to listen to the rules for the last game... we were too busy choreographing our lil strutt on the ramp :)
I was dressed in a skirt made of paper tassles and jewellry to match.. i walked the ramp and was suddenly attacked by a villan ... and then came Mike to the rescue.. dressed as Mr Incredible ... he came and saved this damsel in distress ;) we did lose a lot cause we didn't know that our clothes shouldn't show at all.. but we more than made up for it with our creative clothing and lil pantomime :D
We had a lovely time... our team fought to the end... but missed the top spot by 7 points :D
It felt good when we won thought... we were competing more for the fun of it.. but getting the Runners-up trophy was the icing on the cake ...
My best moment of the day though was when special awards were given away to some of the outstanding participants ... and the fist name ... well not name ... but the first award went to "Yours Truly" and thought Capt Venkat didn't know my name ... "Dynamic Lady" is not a title i am averse too :D
The evening was a slight drag ... the business session never seemed to end.. the RnR was good only cause of the wit Balaji injected into it ... The 3D was okie... the drivers getting drunk was awful... but at least we had a lil of everything in one day :)
From Hiking over 6kms... to decoding while runnning across a rocky patch (that too with me wearing the high heeled shoes of another team member) ... to carrying a stretcher blind folded.. to screaming JULU JULU till our throats went dry... and trying to make a net out of rubberbands and thread and walking the ramp in clothes made of newspaper... U bet we had one hell of a time :D
Still have to find the mutt who deleted my pics :) and once i manage to recover them.. i'll sure post some here :)
netVsec iCarny ... not as bad as i thot it'd be :D

er... where was I ???

2007-07-12T04:56:00.000+05:30

I'm still reeling from having the days rush by me ... not sure if i should be. Haven't had time enough to decide whether I'm enjoying it or not :D iGoogle made my day.. the first thing I read this morning was : Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it. - Stephen Leacock made me feel... well after all... i'm not alone ........ Ain't we a gullible lot now :D Too sleepy to rite any more. No sonnets to dedicate, no quotable quotes to coin this night... It's my pillow that beckons and a hope for sweet dreams till the morning light.

feeling petty...

2007-07-10T00:40:00.001+05:30

I did something really cheap today... was feeling bad before... feeling worse ever since... they say Love lasts forever... whoever said that... had no idea what he/she was talking about... Love is just a passing phase .. a glimpse of the sun on a cloudy day...

A gift my pet gave me

2007-06-14T01:25:00.000+05:30

After several days of watching me shower Sunshine with affection ... i thought Tricksy had finally given up on me spending time with her... This happened when I reached home at 6:00AM.. I am normally greeted by my 3 dogs.. Tricksy (Volpino, female) Ice Cube (Volpino, male) and Sunshine (Daschund, female)... I spend a few minutes with them and when i enter the house i'm followed by Sunshine ... and she remains with me inside the house for the whole day... but today... when i opened the gate.. only Sunshine and Ice cube were there to greet me ... I kept calling for Tricksy and she finally did come in.. The monsoons are in and the whole place was drenched and so was tricksy ... but she didn't stay in the house for more than 5 minutes.. i figured she'd found a safe haven in the outhouse and let her go out again..I thought my dog was fed up of me ... but in a short while my dad took his regular walk in the garden and came running in ... woke my mom up and said.. "Wake up.. how can u keep sleeping .. u r a grandmom" Amidst the squealing and excitement I ran out to find my Tricksy surrounded by 4 lovable, cuddly pups :) we had a tuff time getting the little ones into the house... with her mother being agitated and all .. and Ice Cube behaving as badly as he always does... but now they're resting in a small trellis room beside my Mom's bedroom ... and instead of 3 ... I have 7 bundles of Joy !!!

A lil sunshine in my life!

2007-06-03T20:37:00.000+05:30

I finally got my Australian Daschund ;) and i’ve named my little bundle of Joy - “SunShine” She’s black with brown paws.. and everyone tease me by saying “ShoeShine” is more apt a name.. but hey.. she’s the little ray of joy of my life.

Breaking hearts... killing people!

2007-05-21T13:24:00.000+05:30

Attending to mom in the hospital makes me wonder as to what I'm contributing to this world. What value does my work bring... I may be a whiz at several things... but if some harm were to come to people around me... there is no script I can write to stop their pain! I watch the medical staff at work... some passionate.. especially since they know the person they are treating.. or because they need to impress their seniors. Most of them indifferent... to them each person is just another patient... just one more occupant of a bed they are responsible for. It doesn't matter whether countless smiles and lives depend on the person left in their care... callous they are .. and callous they'll remain.

Slow and Steady

2007-04-27T20:12:00.000+05:30

Received this awesome mail from a friend... and my first thought was to post it for all to see

Slow Down Culture It's been 18 years since I joined Volvo, a Swedish company. Working for them has proven to be an interesting experience. Any project here takes 2 years to be finalised, even if the idea is simple and brilliant. It's a rule.
Global processes have caused in us (all over the world) a need to see immediate results. This contrasts greatly with the slow movements of the Swedish. They, on the other hand, debate, debate, debate, hold multiple meetings and work with a slowdown scheme. At the end, this always yields better results.
Said in other words:
Sweden is about the size of San Pablo, a state in Brazil
Sweden has 2 million inhabitants
Stockholm has 500,000 people
Volvo, Escania, Ericsson, Electrolux, Nokia are some of its renowned companies.
Volvo supplies to NASA
The first time I was in Sweden, one of my colleagues picked me up at the hotel every morning. It was September, bit cold and snowy. We would arrive early at the company and he would park far away from the entrance (2000 employees drive their car to work). The first day, I didn't say anything, either the second or third. One morning I asked, “Do you have a fixed parking space? I've noticed we park far from the entrance even when there are no other cars in the lot.” To which he replied, “Since we're here early we'll have time to walk, and whoever gets in late will be late and need a place closer to the door. Don't you think this is the right thing to do?” Imagine my face.
Nowadays, there's a movement in Europe named ‘Slow Food’. This movement establishes that people should eat and drink slowly, with enough time to taste their food, spend time with the family and friends, without rushing.
‘Slow Food’ is against its counterpart: the spirit of ‘Fast Food’ and what it stands for as a lifestyle. ‘Slow Food’ is the basis for a bigger movement called Slow Europe, as mentioned by Business Week.
Basically, the movement questions the sense of ‘hurry’ and ‘craziness’ generated by globalisation, fuelled by the desire of a life status ‘having in quantity’ versus ‘having with quality’. French people, even though they work 35 hours per week, are more productive than Americans or British. Germans have established 28.8 hour workweeks and have seen their productivity been driven up by 20%. This slow attitude has brought forth the US' attention, the nation of ‘do it now!’
This no-rush attitude doesn't represent doing less or having lower productivity. It means working and doing things with greater quality, productivity, perfection, with attention to detail and less stress. It means re-establishing family values, friends, free and leisure time. Taking the ‘now’, present and concrete, versus the ‘global’, undefined and anonymous. It means taking essential values, the simplicity of living.
It stands for a less coercive work environment, more happy, lighter and more productive where humans enjoy doing what they know best how to do. It's time to stop and think on how companies need to develop serious quality with no-rush that will increase productivity and the quality of products and services, without losing the essence of spirit.
In the movie, Scent of a Woman, there's a scene where Al Pacino asks a girl to dance and she replies, “I can't, my boyfriend will be here any minute now,” to which Al responds, “a life is lived in an instant.” Then they dance to a tango.
Many of us live our lives running behind time, but we only manage to die of a heart attack or in a car accident rushing to be on time.
Others are so anxious of living the future that they forget to live the present, which is the only time that truly exists. We all have equal time throughout the world. No one has more or less. The difference lies in what each one of us does with our time. We need to live each moment. As John Lennon said, “Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.”
Congratulations for reading till the end of this message. There are many who will have stopped in the middle so as not to waste time in this globalised world.

Sometimes it makes me wonder...

2007-04-15T01:37:00.000+05:30

It's been several days since i've taken time to blog... several years since i've written anything sensible :D Been thinking of the days I could quote Milton and Kipling... times when Shakespear was the one I fell asleep with ... Now a days it's lesser known authors of tomes on Perl and VB ;) From being lulled to sleep by romantic sonnets... to staying up decoding semantics of an encrypted code... little girl ... u've surely come a long way.

Still under my skin...

2007-02-21T21:26:00.000+05:30

I believe I've forgotten the past and started anew. I believe that the same memories will not haunt me again... and yet ... when i least expect it... this demon from the past sneaks upon me and overwhelms me... There is no running from the fear the anxiety the heartbreak... there is no falling loose of the shackles that enslave me to the past... I'm back on the road of no return!

Meaningless musings!

2007-02-21T21:20:00.000+05:30

Where does the meaning lie... what is the meaning??? sometimes life brings one to a crossroad... the difference with this crossroad is that all roads lead to nothing. There is nothing to look forward to anymore... nothing to ooh and aah about ... it's just a road that needs to be travelled and at the end of it... u'll just find another crossroad. This is not the first time I wished my life had more meaning... not the first time i wished i was more than just a network engineer trying to eck out a living.. more than a daughter who decided to stay back with her parents while the other 2 upped and left and almost forgot the family they left behind. More than a wife waiting for her husband to take time off his work to check on her... Each time I consoled myself i asked for too much ... Yet each time ... these same needs keep tugging at my tears.

Not Against Vista

2007-02-07T21:41:00.000+05:30

Been hearing a lot of negative news about Vista….. here’s a refreshing new blog that helps bust some myths :D Vista Myth Buster Well worth a read !

Losing someone...

2007-02-03T20:11:00.000+05:30

This month started on a "Definitely not so good" note. My bud's Grandma passed away ... and the only memory that kept coming back to me was of losing my own Grandma. I still remember that day... she was not well for the whole night... and in the morning ... while leaving for college.. i peeped into her room... she was being assisted by my sister and aunt ... and I said "Nanna .. i'm leaving" and she turned around and said "God Bless You!" It was the last conversation we ever had... and how I wish it had lasted much longer. I still miss my Nanna... and how i regret not spending more time with her and telling her how much I love her. In fact ... this is the only thing I'll ever regret! I still hopelessly wish I could turn back time... but for now .. all I can do is learn a lesson from this experience ... and love and cherish the wonderful loving people in my life!

A Fresh Perspective...

2007-01-14T23:01:00.000+05:30

Mass today was amazing … a new priest .. the same reading … and a whole new dimension …. We read about the wedding at Canna before … but this time we took a closer look at the role Mother Mary played… How she realized the need of the moment… How she went about resolving it without creating too much of a scene… How she introduced them to the right person … Jesus… How she withdrew to the background without trying to boast and seek glory for herself… He ended with a line that made me think … think long and hard… He said .. we always ask for miracles .. always forgetting that each day we see is a miracle in itself.. Each meal a blessing … Each person a glorious reminder of his mighty power! God be with you this day and always!

someone sent me this lovely poem...

2007-01-12T16:39:00.000+05:30

>>>>>MAYA ANGELOU'S BEST POEM EVER> A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....One old love she can imagine going back to...and one who reminds her ... how far she has come... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....Enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own even if she never wants To or needs to. A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....Something>perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....A youth she's content to leave behind.... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....A past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age.... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE... One friend who always makes her laugh... And one who lets her cry... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family... WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....Eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored. ... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE....A feeling of control over her destiny... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...How to fall in love without losing herself.. EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...HOW TO QUIT A JOB,BREAK UP WITH A LOVER,AND CONFRONT A FRIEND WITHOUT RUINING THE FRIENDSHIP... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...When to try harder... And WHEN TO WALK AWAY... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...That she can't change the length of her calves,The width of her hips, or the nature of her parents.. EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...That her childhood may not have been perfect...but its over.. EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...What she would and wouldn't do for love or more... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...How to live alone... Even if she doesn't like it.. EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...Whom she can trust, Whom she can't, And why she shouldn't take it personally... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...Where to go...Be it to her best friend's kitchen table...Or a charming inn in the woods... When her soul needs soothing... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..What she can and can't accomplish in a day...a month...and a year... Please note... I have not penned this poem and do not intend to take credit for it either... it's just too pretty a poem to keep hidden from the world.....

Making assurance ... doubly sure....

2007-01-11T19:14:00.000+05:30

We have an old .. falling apart chandelier in our house.. I have often suggested to MOM that we get rid of it .. and get a new piece .. however her answer always was ... and always will be .. "My Joy Beta bought me that before she left.. i can't get rid of it"

My cousin came over y'day .. and his family stayed at our place that night... in the morning when he was leaving ... i noticed him pick up my mom's phone ... and then the charger followed the phone into his pocket... it didn't take me long to figure out that Mom had given him her phone....

I still remember the number of shops i explored to find her a mobile she'll like... i still think of the hours i debated with myself and my peers on which one would be the best for her...

And this morning... even before i was fully awake ... she just gave away the mobile for which i saved up for months... all for her to smile... and she didn't think twice before giving it away.

I know why it happened... it's cause i am not my sisters... they are invaluable to her... while i am valueless....

I knew it all along... today ... she gave me evidence!

While watching Coach Carter!

2007-01-05T20:39:00.000+05:30

Coach Carter.... an inspirational movie based on a true life story.... Loved this dialogue from the movie... Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

My pensive self...

2007-01-04T23:46:00.000+05:30

New Year's Eve was spent in church... my friends are always amazed when i choose to attend Mass instead of a riotous party... but I need all that grace to face the year ahead. This New Year was uplifting... It felt beautiful just sitting there in church and recollecting the nuances of the past year... slowly letting go of the anger and hatred ... and wrapping up the warm memories to savour them later. I've heard the line "Don't tell God how big your problems are... instead tell ur problems how big God is" .... and while I sat in church ... this line kept coming back to me... There will always be problems... some i can overcome with ease ... some that will take it's toll.. but throught it all ... nothing will shake my faith in God... This year for me ... is the year of me, the Prodigal Child returning home. Never Will I Stray Again!

Sofa... so good!

2007-01-03T18:27:00.000+05:30

3 days into the New Year and I barely remember what my New Year Resolutions were. One was to attend mass every Sunday... another... hmmm.. to study everyday ... and yeah... for the third year in a row... to learn how to drive! It's not as easy as you think... Trafficophobia.. (I coined the word... and yeah i'll use it) ... is what gets to me.. Naaaah.. don't get me wrong ... I don't fear for my life... but it's the life of others i endanger each time I attempt to drive any vehicle... I've got something i like to call "Peoplefinity", which in my lingo means an affinity for people.. and don't get me wrong... this ugly talent raises it's head only when i'm driving... U got it... I always go C-R-A-S-H B-A-N-G B-O-O-M right into anyone around me... even if there's space enough for 3 lorries right in front of me! Well this year is when i get over these lousy excuses and paint this city red! and yeah ... i remember ... One more resolutions was to blog each day!!! Hee Hee .....